65th Surprise Party

We threw a surprise 65th birthday party for Andrew's parents in August and it was a success! Dennis and Marilyn had no idea and both were completely surprised! It was a lot of fun to plan, and gather family and friends to celebrate such a special couple, who are very loved by so many. And, who certainly don't look their age! It was wonderful to see almost our whole extended family and catch up with one another. Our gift was a scrapbook with photos, notes and special memories. They loved it.

A very special and happy birthday, that we'll remember for years to come! xoxo

Maternity Leave

Thank you for your love and support as I take time off to focus on our growing family. I will be out of the office, starting November 18, 2017, as we prepare for the arrival of our son at the end of November. I will be checking email and hope to be taking on new projects in the spring of 2018. I am so thankful for the wonderful clients I've had the privilege of working with this year!

All my best, Sarah

Cheers to 35!

I enjoyed a 5-day birthday celebration this month, and it was wonderful! I thought about glossing over it, but considering it's sort of a big one (35 y'all), I thought it worth mentioning. I started thinking about what I might like to do, a couple of months ago, because, who am I kidding, I've always loved birthdays! All I really wanted was an entire day to myself, to come and go as I please, use a spa gift card that I've been waiting TWO YEARS to use, some family time and definitely sweet desserts. My husband knew I needed some "time away" and a break from the stay-at-home-mom daily routine. As much as I love being a mom and a stay-at-home-mom, I miss some of the freedoms that I used to enjoy. Like being able to fully relax without feeling like I have to be somewhere or do something every minute of the day. Casually shop at a few of my favorite stores. Have lunch with a friend. Go for a quiet walk. Eat whatever I feel like. I just needed a break. All you moms out there know what I'm talking about! 

My very thoughtful (and brave) husband took a couple days off from work and decided to take a road trip with our favorite little buddy, to visit his family for a couple days. Leaving me "all...by...myself......." (cue music). Which may sound sad, lonely or even a little selfish. But it was just what I needed. FREEDOM! Let the long weekend adventure begin.

I started by treating myself to breakfast at my favorite little cafe, Atlas Eats. It was a bright sunny after-the-winter-windstorm of 2017 morning and I savored hot coffee and ate an entire stack of pancakes. I'd like to start every morning like this, thank you very much.

I headed out of town to Mirbeau Spa, in Skaneatlas, New York, for the afternoon, to use my long awaited gift card. A HUGE thank you, to the gift givers, you know who you are! I lounged in the quiet room, got a massage, took a dip in the outdoor whirlpool (surrounded by snow and icicles, it was kinda surreal), sat in the sauna and picked up some bath salts from the gift shop on my way out. It was absolutely as amazing as it sounds! I grabbed a late lunch at Dougs Fish Fry, and stopped to take a view of the lake on my way home. It was cold but beautiful!

The next morning, after sleeping in my VERY quiet house, I headed to a favorite spot that never gets old. Simply Crepes (to use my birthday freebie!) and The Village Bakery for French Macarons. The walk around the canal was gorgeous, even when frozen. I felt like I was on vacation! 

I got to meet a friend for dinner, dessert and some much needed laughs. Always making fun memories with this one! 

The next day (yes, there's more) I met another sweet friend for lunch and we talked and talked. It was good for my heart. That evening, there happened to be a mom's night out scheduled for my MOPS group, so I went to that, too! Just call me a party animal. 

On Sunday, my boys returned - I really did miss them! And we celebrated my birthday a day early with my family. It's not easy coordinating all of our schedules, but it meant so much to me that we could spend time together. And capture the best group photo we've ever taken!

You guys. Can we take a minute to talk about this CAKE?!? I had been wishing for a special cake and "happened" to meet Rebekah, who works at Something Delicious Bake Shop, literally the week before. I talked with her about the type of cake I was hoping for, and she truly made me the most beautiful and delicious birthday cake! Chocolate fudge with buttercream flowers. It was soooo good. I want more. Like right now. I had to take photos of it, it was almost too pretty to eat. Almost. 

On my actual birthday, Marshall and I went to a St. Patrick's Day play date party, which was a lot of fun. Let the partying continue! That night, I got to celebrate with my D-group (Bible study) ladies over dinner and more cake! Yes, I shared. 

I enjoyed the very last slice on a certain special plate that I received, years ago, when I was about 10 years old, from very dear friends. It's tradition! The expression on this cat's face is pretty much how I feel when my birthday is over.

I definitely felt spoiled, loved and surrounded by friends and family throughout the week. And I soaked up every minute of my solo-vacation! I got to rest and recharge, see friends, visit favorite places, and celebrate with the ones I love most. It was more than a girl could ask for. My husband is far too good to me! So far, 35 has been good! 

50th Surprise Birthday Party

In January, my sister, Lisa, threw her husband, Chris, a SURPRISE birthday party. And he was completely surprised! Success! This was a big birthday, too. 50! However, Chris certainly doesn't act or look his age! 

You make 50 look good, Chris! 

When Lisa started planning the party, I volunteered to design the invitations and help with decorations. I love party planning! 

We wanted to celebrate his 50 years in a fun, upbeat, and classy way. Lisa selected the color theme and plaid napkins in blue and green. Then we added touches of gold and silver. I cut out "50" numbers in gold, attached them to skewer sticks for each centerpiece and wrapped large mason jars with burlap. We filled them with paper filler, added curled ribbon and a Bible verse. I had silver chargers and enough small glass jars to hold flame-less candles, which we filled with rainbow sprinkles. How cute is that?! 

Lisa made a photo collage in the shape of "50" on foam core and we used my two burlap message boards to pin the rest. Everyone always enjoys looking at photos from throughout the years. 

It was a fun afternoon of celebrating with family and friends. 
 

Chris, you are loved by so many! God has blessed you with a beautiful family and dear friends. You are a testament of God's goodness and faithfulness and we are thankful for you!

Three Reasons to Give Thanks, Our Story Continued

As November draws to a close, I can’t help but remember that this month might have been our first baby’s fourth birthday. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to enter the month of Thanksgiving without remembering the life that wasn’t ours to hold here on Earth.

You can read Part 1 and Part 2 of our journey.

Today, it’s been about two months since we thought that we would be having another baby, our third. I never wanted to add another chapter to our story about miscarriage and loss.

But, God.

I keep being reminded that God’s divine timing is not ours.

Andrew and I are loving each stage with our almost 22 month old, on-the-go, cute-as-can-be, into everything, toddler, Marshall. He is funny and fast and just so lovable. We definitely want to have more children, if God chooses, and we recently thought that dream was coming true for us.

In September, I took three positive home pregnancy tests. And another at my doctors office to be sure. Pure excitement, amazement and happy shock! I couldn’t wait to share the incredible news with Andrew. We looked at each other in disbelief, hugged and cried tears of joy. Marshall was going to be a big brother! We couldn’t be happier.

The thing with having ever experienced a miscarriage, even after delivering a healthy baby, is that the fear and uncertainty doesn’t leave you. The “what if’s” are always there, looming, in the back of your mind. It overshadows your joy. It makes you halfheartedly believe. You try to be all-in excited, but your heart still remembers the hurt and the heartbreak you once knew, at a familiar time in the past. I wanted those worry-filled thoughts to disappear. To stop whispering doubt into my ear. To stop robbing me of the happiness of this moment. But it kept hanging around.

We daydreamed about welcoming a new baby into our family. We celebrated with pizza (fancy, I know). We started strategizing how to make additional room in our home. And we prayed. And we talked about our excitement and about our fears. We hoped and prayed that God wouldn’t allow us to walk down the road of loss again.

My first ultrasound was scheduled the following week (per my request), when we would be a little over seven weeks pregnant. I simply could not wait to see our tiny growing baby on the screen and see that precious little heart beating. Then, and only then, would I be able to rest a little easier and fully bask in the joy of this pregnancy. I needed to see it to believe it.

The day before our ultrasound, however, I knew something wasn’t right. In addition, I didn’t “feel” very pregnant in general, except for some occasional nausea. I told myself not to freak out and that every pregnancy is different. It was still early. I was just going to wait to see the doctor the next day.

We drove to the appointment, which is at the same hospital where Marshall was born, and we got ready to see our tiny new baby for the first time. Except, there was no baby on the screen. My womb looked empty. The technician kindly told us that she could not see a developing pregnancy and that she was going to go talk to the doctor. When the technician came back, she performed a second ultrasound to be sure. Then the doctor came in and confirmed the news we didn’t want to hear.

How could this be?

How could I be pregnant, but there not be a baby growing inside of me?

Miscarriage.

That ugly word.

Again.

Something didn’t go right. The baby we thought was developing, simply was not. Almost as quickly as we learned that we were pregnant, we were faced with the reality that we weren’t anymore.

I had blood work done to be sure. And a follow up appointment. And more blood work.

The verdict: miscarriage. There was nothing we could do to stop it or explain it. Our hearts were once again left broken and wondering why.

Why put our hearts and our hopes through that? Why get us excited and looking forward to another dream coming true, only to have it trampled and stolen so quickly away? Why must we relive such sadness and disappointment, a second time over? It doesn’t make sense. After experiencing the joy and answered prayer of allowing us to be Marshall’s parents, why revisit that place of deep loss?

His ways are not our ways.

I couldn’t utter a word on the drive home. I sobbed in Andrew’s arms when he held me in our kitchen, while Marshall played in the other room. How was I supposed to get through this day? How was I supposed to move forward? Why was this happening? Again. What a cruel trick. I felt so foolish. Foolish for believing. Foolish for hoping it to be true and for all to be well. Foolish for allowing myself to dream and to be excited.

When Marshall took a nap, I buried myself under a blanket and fell asleep. When I woke, somehow I felt better. Like it was all a dream. Like I knew that this was the way God wanted it to be and everything was in His very capable hands. I was reminded that I have been given a husband and a son and a beautiful life, and most importantly, the life-giving gift of salvation. I had to get up, keep going and hope again. A simple and ridiculously hard truth.

I can’t say that it doesn’t hurt, deeply, because it does. It stings. In moments that I don’t expect. But, the fact that I have my husband of eleven years, walking the same road beside me, and our beautiful son to take care of, makes it somehow easier and more bearable. God has always been so very good to us, in the good times and in the difficult times. I know that God is in control, through it all, and that I can trust him. Even when it doesn’t make sense to me. Even when I wish things had gone very differently.

I am truly amazed at how tangibly God has been surrounding me during these days and weeks. The Sunday before our ultrasound, our new pastor started a series entitled “Seasons.” It couldn’t have been more timely. Trusting God, no matter the circumstances. I felt like the message was just for us. The worship team sang “Thy Will Be Done,” by Hilary Scott. A song that has been narrating my life for weeks prior to all of this.

Three days after our ultrasound didn’t go as hoped, I attended the More Than Enough women’s conference with guest speaker Angie Smith. I first heard Angie speak on Mother’s Day, 2014, while we were still in a season of intense waiting to get pregnant, after our first miscarriage in 2012. I knew I would be in for some serious heart stirring. That was an understatement. On the drive there, I was able to share my heartbreak and pray with a dear friend, who could not have been a more perfect listening ear and compassionate heart. Her words and understanding surrounded me with such love and comfort. During the conference, the stories that were shared about reliance on our Heavenly Father during utter heartbreak and unthinkable loss were nothing short of inspiring, and so specific to what I was going through, that very day. I knew God had planned it, long before I purchased my ticket. Later in the conference “Thy Will Be done” was played. That same song, twice in one week. Once before and once after I found out that I miscarried.

I’m listening, God.

“I know you see me. I know you hear me, Lord. Your plans are for me. Goodness you have in store. Thy will be done.” That song has been speaking to my heart continually.

There are many moments that I have felt the hand of God holding me and healing my wounded heart. Through people I’ve had conversations with, a blog I came across, messages at church, songs, the sweet laugh of my son, the love of family and friends. It’s been a much different experience than our first miscarriage. Not because I’m any less sad or any less disappointed. I was in a very different place, prior to having our son, not knowing if I would get pregnant at all and be able to experience having a child. All of the praise and glory goes to God for his good gifts! I don’t deserve His love and mercy and pure abundance. I am overwhelmed by His goodness and grace. Such grace.

I’m sharing my story, in hopes that maybe it will help someone else. I also share it to proclaim that it’s only because of Jesus Christ that I’m able to get up every day. Before, during and after all of this. My life isn’t perfect - far from it. I have struggles and I’ve had to face some very difficult days throughout my life. Days that, were it not for my relationship with my Creator, my Heavenly Father, the Giver of Life, I don’t know how I would handle it. He is my Living Hope. He is the reason I have joy. True joy. Not just putting on a smile and pretending. Even during the hurt, I have hope. How can this be? Because I am loved and cherished and held by the God of the universe.

I wear three rings now. One with the birthstone or due date month of each of my three children. I get to cuddle and look into the eyes of one of those sweet children, every day. And I look forward to meeting our two precious gifts in Heaven. Three reasons to thank God.

I don’t really know how to close this. To be continued. Because I don’t know what the future holds. Anymore than I knew what the future held a few weeks ago. I’m learning, daily, that as much as I might try, I’m not in control. Of anything. Only God is. And I’m grateful for that, because if I was in control, oh, the mess I’d have made of my life by now. Thank you, LORD, that You are in control, and that You know what’s best for us. You truly are a good, good, Father, and you are so perfect in all of your ways. (Another song that gets to me every time is “Good, Good Father” by Chris Tomlin.)

If you have known the pain of loss, my prayer is that the God of all comfort will heal your heart. I also pray that if you don’t already know Him, that you would pursue a relationship with God, your Heavenly Father, who loves you like crazy. I’m proof that you can love Him and you can trust Him. He created you and knows your heart. He also knows what it’s like to have His heart broken, because He watched His only Son, Jesus, die for you and me. The ultimate gift of love.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 NIV

2016 Summer Ohlympics

10 Points to the person who can find what's wrong with my super fancy Ohlympics sign. 

You guys. Summer. 

It's the middle of August and it's been HOT around here. We've been playing outside, going to parks, staying inside in the air conditioning (SO thankful for that!), and spending some time with family. We recently made a trip to Pennsylvania for our annual summer visit and took part in our own little OHLYMPICS - see what I did there? 

Poppi set up his world-famous slip and slide in the front yard and the fun began!

Complete with a cushy spectator area, 4-wheel rides and a kiddie pool. 

It was nice just hanging out and visiting with each other. I cannot get over how grown up our nieces are. Slow down, time! 

Marshall enjoyed playing outside, investigating the garage (of course) and riding the big wheels. He's one cool guy!

I wish I took a few more group shots, but sometimes it's better to enjoy the moment and not be snapping photos left and right. Thank you, Laura for this awesome pic of Marshall with his sunglasses!

We got to see the newlyweds, David and Elsa, too!

This photo of the three cutest little cousins, is my favorite. I wanted to recreate the picture we took last summer when Marshall was just 6 months old.

I can not get over the difference ONE YEAR has made and how much they've all grown! Eeeek! This whole time passing thing is surreal. 

I hope you're all enjoying these days of summer. Savor every last bit. I cringe when I see back to school ads appear in July (or earlier) and see hints of fall approaching. Even though it's been ridiculously hot for us lately, I'll still take this over snow in  heartbeat! Get out there and enjoy some sun!